Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Preparation, Power, Purpose.......................Power


To feel and see His power is what I yearn! When I think of the power of healing a body, a family, a community and the land of a nation; when I think about the power of prayer and fasting, the power of love, the power of our compassionate Jesus I can't help but think of this verse:

2 Chronicles 7:14-15 

if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place.

The Power of Prayer
Then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin AND WILL HEAL THEIR LAND. Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered......... that part makes me think just as much as what is asked from us: if my people, who are called by MY name,  will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn away from their wicked ways.

I mean the latter part of the verse is great but the first part, what about the first part? What will make His power just rain on us and our lands? What will open his eyes and his ears be attentive to us? What will overwhelm him to just release power of forgiveness and the power to heal lands, nations? The beautiful action of humbling pray... pray to seek his face... pray to change our wicked ways.

As I have seeked to spend time yearning to see his face I have come to the conclusion that being in His presence helps view the devastation in our homes, cities and for me in Haiti with eyes of Hope. God in all His glory shines his power in ruins, in the lost, in devastation. His power fuels me to see beyond all thedifferent ruins. Seeking his face shines beauty, healing, restoration, better new days, transformation onto my strayed son, onto an unhealthy body,  unto a nation lying in ruins, unto a community far from Him. Seeking to see His face shinning on us should be a glorious time. A time of powerful interaction with our God, our creator, our saviour and counselor! We can not go to a nation without consulting with Him, without bringing Him with us and without touching as His hands and feet! My priority has to be to seek Him, shouldn't be yours? I can do nothing without Him... He is my fuel, my force and fortitute. So as I prepare to take this journey to Haiti, it's been  not only about my journey to a nation of devastation it is also a journey to my place of devastation .... to a place of humbling myself to seek his face in prayer so He can heal ME, to a place of forgiveness from Him and from myself and healing of my spiritual land. And as he grants me the favor of his face and as he hears the moans and groans of my soul I am being healed and restored. It's been an amazing journey already!

I ask you to continue praying for me and the Ambassador Team as we are 6 weeks away from departing to Haiti. We are all preparing in different ways spiritually, physically and emotionally but also financially.. please pray in joining us in all these areas. Also, we will be hosting the Celebration Generosity dinners this weekend at the Yellow Box and Romeoville campuses. For more info visit:

Thank you for your support and prayers!


Sunday, February 6, 2011

Preparation, Power, Purpose. --------Preparation

Feeling as if I am going through a time of Preparation, Power and Purpose.

This month started with a challenge I took upon my self to take. Doing the Daniels Fast with a friend in my church. My petition to the Lord is one of health betterment for my husband and myself. I truly expected a change in my diet, maybe a change in my time with the amount of time I spent with God, and I expected to be hungry all the time! I truly enjoy food! Truly! I love the flavors of delicious spices with meats, fish and chicken. I honestly can't wait to have one of my all time favorites Lemon Pepper Chicken or Milanesa (breaded steak Mexican Style) or to have a tender Salmon... my mouth waters to think of all those foods that linger in my mouth. What I didn't expect,  is this time of closeness to God not in the amount of time I spend with Him but the deepening desire to sit still in His presence. The closeness of his Holy Spirit.  During this time I have prayed for God to continue to reveal His will for me. What is the sacrifice He desires from me? How will I be obedient to His desires? Many things come to mind: Haiti, my son, my (hopefully) future sons and daughters, my marriage, my block, my church, my neighborhood.

And as I have been preparing my mind, spirit and body for my trips to Haiti I feel as if I am not only preparing for that specific mission but preparing for this year that will bring many challenges. The challenge of seeing a teenage son furthering himself more and more from God, how do I help him? How do I show him God loves him and wants him in eternity with Him? Then my mind wonders with my sons and daughters to come (if and when they do), what can I do now to establish a better foundation than that of my son. What can I change? Better? Then I pray for my marriage for God to truly bind us together for the mission of Helping People Find Their Way Back to God OR for  Helping Our Kids Stay With God! That our marriage be an example to them of genuine and profound love between The Groom and The Bride. Which then takes me to think about the marriages and families on my block, my church my neighborhood! How can God use us to help marriages that seem to be breaking apart in all theses areas where families are being torn apart and kids lost in all of that pain and unsettling feeling of instability of insecurity.

During this time I've talked with men and women praying for their spouses because they have filed divorce (in and outside the church). Reading and studying about Haiti has opened my eyes to a world of political pain on a country lost in a devastation of corruption. Where rape, death and millions of orphans have become the norm. Have seen my teen son drift more and more away from his family and God. The biggest pain a mother has to endure is to let her children go and wait for their return. I think of the Father and the Prodigal Son and wondered what did the Father do while waiting? What can I do while waiting? What will I do while waiting?

I will continue to praise God in the storm! I will continue to seek Him. I will continue to prepare myself to love. To love God more than myself, to love my neighbor like myself. Prepare myself to forgive others so He can forgive me. Prepare myself to have compassion  as Jesus did. Prepare myself in prayer as Jesus did. Jesus prayed to His heavenly father for the people, for the pain that awaited him in Crucifixion, and just to be in constant communication with Him. To be in His presence.

So as I started this Daniel's Fast for our health, it turned into a time of preparation! I thought maybe a preparation for Haiti trips, it turned out into preparation for many things to come. My Journey to Haiti is opening my mind, spirit and soul to the Mission of My Life! My God has a way to work it all out huh?

I suppose you always think you have a plan and it turns out HE has a plan too. Usually what happens, His plans take priority and honestly I wouldn't have it any other way.

Humbly preparing,

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Getting Started

I have dreamt of such a time as this for a while. The excitement, the anxiousness......... the confusion?

I am so excited to get started with all the preparations for these trips that will take place in the next few years. I have been reading the Haitian news, watching documentaries and trying to find classes for Haitian Creole. This. Is. EXCITING!

I am anxious to get there. It seems as if I am in a hurry to meet with a long lost friend or a relative I haven't seen in a long time. I get nervous of how I am going to feel when I set step onto Haitian land. It's crazy but I can't wait to go! It's as if I was created for such a time as this! My heart races and my mind goes wild trying to imagine how it all feels. It: the pain of the people, the smiles of the children that cling on to hope, the rubble, the everything! It's incredible that a person wants to so anxiously go to a place were there is disease, pain, loss, and so much less of what we have here in the United States. I may sound crazy especially to so many of my friends but I just can't wait! April 9th seems so far away.

But amongst all this excitement and anxiousness there is also confusion! I am completely confused about so many things. I am confused (as always and as many know me) of my role in Haiti. What is God's purpose? Why all this fire in me for this nation? What can I help with? What is God up to in my life? Quite honestly, God scares me. He tends to know how to flip my life upside down. I'm not complaining in any matter just confused of what can I possibly be of service to a country with such great needs. Now I know I'm NOT going to be this great thing that transforms Haiti to a nation of prosperity and I know I am NOT any kind of savior BUT I do know that Haiti is going to do something extraordinary in my life. What? I don't know.

I am also very confused about the logistics of this new venture. Maybe it's not confusion maybe it's fear. Yes, FEAR..... the four letter word that I despise and so often feel. Fear to fail..... yes.... fear to fail (as always). Fear to fail at my 10 trip commitment to this country and my God. Making a commitment has always brought fear unto  me. Do you fear commitment? I do! Truly I dislike committing. I like just going with the flow most of the time but when it comes to a commitment to God, I'm pretty extreme! Maybe to the point of legalism. HA! Yes legalism. I tend to be a little bold with my God and for His mission. Truly I am confused of how will I ever learn this language that sounds somewhat Spanish somewhat English? How will I travel and fund raise to maintain these trips?  Here I am trying to start a family and starting my mission field too?
And then I read this:
The more you worry, the more likely you are to have bad dreams.

WHOA...wait a minute here! All my dream has been in the past year is to go to Haiti. It's an awesome dream to me! When my friends learn about my trip, the first thing they say, "Jack, it's your dream come true!" (Poor gals they were probably tired of hearing me talk about it.)  So, WHY o WHY have I been wanting to convert my dream into a bad dream? A dream that wants to overwhelm me with confusion and fear? I suppose it's called common sense. We all have one.... (I think :) ). We all tend to want to worry about something instead of letting go and let God be God.
He is the only one that could have put this fire in me, because I know it wasn't me saying "Oh yes I want to go to Haiti where the scenery will be great with all the rubble. Oh and no running water will be just fine! O yes I would like to go where there is thousands of people dying from cholera" (hence why my friends and family think I am crazy!) So if God put this desire in my heart shouldn't He be the one worrying with what He intends on doing with or for me in Haiti!

So in conclusion, I thank God for giving me common sense but when it comes to His will, I will put that at His feet too.

Help me pray for safety, funds, and peace.
Thank you for being on this journey with me.
Much love,

Philippians 4:4-7
 Always be joyful in the Lord! I’ll say it again: Be joyful! Let everyone know how considerate you are. The Lord is near. Never worry about anything. But in every situation let God know what you need in prayers and requests while giving thanks. Then God’s peace, which goes beyond anything we can imagine, will guard your thoughts and emotions through Christ Jesus.