Feeling as if I am going through a time of Preparation, Power and Purpose.
This month started with a challenge I took upon my self to take. Doing the Daniels Fast with a friend in my church. My petition to the Lord is one of health betterment for my husband and myself. I truly expected a change in my diet, maybe a change in my time with the amount of time I spent with God, and I expected to be hungry all the time! I truly enjoy food! Truly! I love the flavors of delicious spices with meats, fish and chicken. I honestly can't wait to have one of my all time favorites Lemon Pepper Chicken or Milanesa (breaded steak Mexican Style) or to have a tender Salmon... my mouth waters to think of all those foods that linger in my mouth. What I didn't expect, is this time of closeness to God not in the amount of time I spend with Him but the deepening desire to sit still in His presence. The closeness of his Holy Spirit. During this time I have prayed for God to continue to reveal His will for me. What is the sacrifice He desires from me? How will I be obedient to His desires? Many things come to mind: Haiti, my son, my (hopefully) future sons and daughters, my marriage, my block, my church, my neighborhood.
And as I have been preparing my mind, spirit and body for my trips to Haiti I feel as if I am not only preparing for that specific mission but preparing for this year that will bring many challenges. The challenge of seeing a teenage son furthering himself more and more from God, how do I help him? How do I show him God loves him and wants him in eternity with Him? Then my mind wonders with my sons and daughters to come (if and when they do), what can I do now to establish a better foundation than that of my son. What can I change? Better? Then I pray for my marriage for God to truly bind us together for the mission of Helping People Find Their Way Back to God OR for Helping Our Kids Stay With God! That our marriage be an example to them of genuine and profound love between The Groom and The Bride. Which then takes me to think about the marriages and families on my block, my church my neighborhood! How can God use us to help marriages that seem to be breaking apart in all theses areas where families are being torn apart and kids lost in all of that pain and unsettling feeling of instability of insecurity.
During this time I've talked with men and women praying for their spouses because they have filed divorce (in and outside the church). Reading and studying about Haiti has opened my eyes to a world of political pain on a country lost in a devastation of corruption. Where rape, death and millions of orphans have become the norm. Have seen my teen son drift more and more away from his family and God. The biggest pain a mother has to endure is to let her children go and wait for their return. I think of the Father and the Prodigal Son and wondered what did the Father do while waiting? What can I do while waiting? What will I do while waiting?
I will continue to praise God in the storm! I will continue to seek Him. I will continue to prepare myself to love. To love God more than myself, to love my neighbor like myself. Prepare myself to forgive others so He can forgive me. Prepare myself to have compassion as Jesus did. Prepare myself in prayer as Jesus did. Jesus prayed to His heavenly father for the people, for the pain that awaited him in Crucifixion, and just to be in constant communication with Him. To be in His presence.
So as I started this Daniel's Fast for our health, it turned into a time of preparation! I thought maybe a preparation for Haiti trips, it turned out into preparation for many things to come. My Journey to Haiti is opening my mind, spirit and soul to the Mission of My Life! My God has a way to work it all out huh?
I suppose you always think you have a plan and it turns out HE has a plan too. Usually what happens, His plans take priority and honestly I wouldn't have it any other way.