Tuesday, January 29, 2013

32 Days in Haiti


As I write this, I am sitting at an airport in Fort Lauderdale waiting for my connecting flight to arrive in Haiti where I will be living for the next 32 days. 32 days! I am excited, I am nervous, and yes I am already missing my husband.


In January 2012, I was on my last day in Haiti on a mission trip and my leader asked us to write out a BIG dream about our Haiti journey in our journals. At the time I dreamt about a time where I could come to Haiti and learn about culture, language and life in Haiti. I am those kinds of people that don’t learn by books or presentations. I learn by stories, experiences, and emotions. I am a “feeler” and not the intellectual type. So I wrote the BIG dream out and put it at the feet of Jesus, surrendered it to Him.


 I returned to Haiti in May and again it tugged at me and so I decided to start conversations with the leaders of 1013 Missions and One Family of how that would look? What would I do? Learn? After a few conversations I felt it was a BIG dream turning into a plan so I started asking people to help me pray about it. The more time passed the more evident it was that I was going to Haiti.

The other big question is how do I tell Obe and ask for his blessing about what God was tugging at me with? At first, he really thought I was crazy, but then he went crazy with me in supporting me and encouraging me and putting aside the sacrifice of not being together for 32 days. Then fear on my side kicked in because you see, Obe is not just a husband that goes to work and privides the needs of the house; he is my best friend, my care taker when I am flared with RA, he is the one who is my strong companion and my number one encourager. He really helps me up when I am down and lifts me up when I can't no more. Then the question rose up in me, "How will I survive without him?" Well God answered that really quick, "WITH ME!"


Praying. Planning. Praying. Doubting. Praying. Fear. Praying. Doubting. That’s how it went for the next 6 months. By December, I was almost convinced I was doing the wrong decision on going to Haiti. I was between moves, chaos with my son and in the midst of a BIG dream for my church. One night I said, “God, I am almost convinced that I am not going to Haiti but I will put the ask out for funding my trip if you provide, I will know I should go.” I knew the enemy was at work with fear, doubt and even lies of not being chosen for this task and I also knew my God is greater than that so I threw it out there. 72 hours later I had raised the cost of my ticket and bought my ticket costing $200 less than I have ever paid. In three weeks I had raised the total cost of the trip and all the supplies needed and then some. God had showed up in an extravagant way!


Thirty days later to the day I am on a plane en route to Croix de Bouquets, Haiti with all my luggage to live there for 32 days! 32 days! Yes, 32 days without my family, without my dear and loving husband, without my bed, my home, my church family and without my son and granddaughter. How? Why? What are you thinking? Are some of the questions I have been asked these past few months, I will try to answer them next.



How did I decide to leave all that is familiar and go to the unfamiliar? By prayer and knowing I am a follower of Jesus. I go where he leads and I go ALL IN. I don’t know how I am able to that? All, I know is that He fuels my desires to continue learning about a country who’s language I am challenged to learn. I know He has a plan and it’s not up to me to know it or give my opinion, I must obey and execute whatever His plans are for me. I know that before I was even created in my mother’s womb, He had all my days planned out already and so it is with Faith in Him that is how I GO, BE, and LEARN.



I believe that to further strengthen the commitment, that God put in my heart, I must learn more of Haiti from Haiti. From her challenges, struggles, beauty, hardships, and her celebrations. Why did Obe and I move into Aurora and leave our family where we didn’t know anyone? To BE WITH the people of Aurora. Her challenges are our challenges, her victories are our victories. I believe to learn I must submerge for now since I can’t relocate (yet J).


What am I thinking?

Honestly, I am not. I am just following His lead.
I am thankful that He has chosen me to have the honor to live with other Haitians, with 48 children that I will get to love and nurture, and the privilege to serve and love others as myself. I am thankful that He desires for me to learn more, for me to feel more, and even to break my heart more. I am thankful for each person that believed in me and God’s plans for me and gave generously, prayed fervently and encouraged me to go beyond my imagination. I am thankful for Obe, my husband, who supports me and never says no to God’s dream in me and allows me to be ALL IN with Jesus, with Mission and my Generosity.

There will be many sacrifices and times of maybe frustrations, loneliness and of missing my family & friends but I could never say no to my Creator and Lover of my Soul. I know God is with me and He knows I would not take one step forward without His presence. So here I go stepping out of the boat or walking into the dessert with HIM.
Right when I arrived at Haiti, I saw this sign and I asked Pastor Kesnel, "What does it say?" He responded, "God before Everything!" I am thankful the Almighty goes before me.