“I Don’t Have a Self”- Madam Yanik Joseph

 

During these past 17 days I have had the fortune of getting to know a woman I met exactly a year ago a little more. I have enjoyed hearing her laughter and also about her heart from her heart. I have had many conversations as we drink hot chocolate together or as we lock arms and walk together on a dirt road.

 

One of the things God put in my heart while looking forward to this time in Haiti was to be a friend to Madam Yanik. She is the pastor’s wife here at One Family and also the one who is called Mommy by 48 kids, the one that makes sure every meal is clean and prepared properly, the one who makes sure all guest rooms are clean and disinfected for teams coming in, the one who catches a couple hours of sleep here and there while she aids her husband in all she can with the church, school and orphanage. A very tired woman whom you may not see preaching or thriving for titles on stages but you see everyday, every hour and every minute of the day and night carrying a child, giving medicine to a child, nurturing a child or feeding a child. THIS is a woman I admire and I wanted to get to know more and be the friend God wanted me to be to her. One who listens, laughs and hopefully encourages her.

 

I’ve been studying the life of David while in Haiti and this past week I came across the story of Jonathon and David. The Bible says:

“As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. ² And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father's house. ³ Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. ⁴ And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt.”

Right away Jonathon loved David and committed himself, his friendship and even gave him his belongings. The belongings of a prince to a sheep shepherd?

 

 I thought of many friends the Lord has gifted me in my life. Many people came to mind, some whom I immediately felt a love for and some whom I grew to love and either way I have been blessed abundantly with friends who have turned into sisters. Sisters who love, encourage me and pray for me. Sisters I cry with and celebrate with. I have committed myself to love friends some easy to love and some a little challenging to understand but I have committed my love and friendship.

 

I know the blessings that come with friendships and I really hoped that I can be a blessing to Madam Yanik whom also is a pastor’s wife, whom also does all the behind the scenes things that no one sees, whom also only has one son and is “etranje” (foreigner) in her own people. Many of these things can lead us to a lonely place a place where we feel we “have no self”. This is a place where we continually serve our communities, our congregations or our husbands and end up feeling like “I don’t have a self.” I have felt that many times but in many instances friends and my time with them give me myself back to me again. This is a relationship where I don’t have to serve,  just enjoy and love and be free with.

I pray this time in Haiti is the foundation of great relationships with the children, some of the church members but mostly with Madam Yanik, whom I have “knit” my soul to her soul as I have had the privilege to do so with other women in my life.